and the Devil himself...

and the Devil himself...

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Quotes in the Spirit of James Dean

"If a man can bridge the gap between life and death, if he can live on after he's dead, then maybe he was a great man." - James Dean

"Maybe that's what life is... a wink of the eye and winking stars." - Jack Kerouac
"I became the unnatural son of a few score of beaten men." - Neal Cassady
"Actors die so loud." - Henry Miller

"Here's to the crazy ones. the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers. the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of the rules and have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. because they change things, they push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."  — Jack Kerouac

"I mean, I think we're put here on earth to make your own destiny, to begin with. I don't think there's anything you can do this way or that way to change anything."  - Waylon Jennings

"Follow your inner moonlight; don't hide the madness." - Allen Ginsberg

"Poets are Damned... but See with the Eyes of Angels."  - Allen Ginsberg

"A big man has no time really to do anything but just sit and be big." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

"In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day." - F. Scott Fitzgerald

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles." - Charlie Chaplin

"Life has got a habit of not standing hitched. You got to ride it like you find it. You got to change with it. If a day goes by that don't change some of your old notions for new ones, that is just about like trying to milk a dead cow."  - Woody Guthrie

"All right, then, I'll go to hell." - Mark Twain
"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." - Mark Twain

"Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain." - Mark Twain

"Chaos is the score upon which reality is written." - Henry Miller

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Lonesome Liz & Kara Clark's Top Ten Things an Outlaw Will Always Have

Kara Clark, Outlaw

1. Smokes.

2.  A gun.

3. A habit, (varies from outlaw to outlaw, but we all smoke).

4. A foul mouth, (that we suspend for radio).

5. An opinion.

6. A mostly black wardrobe they didn't collect on purpose.

7. Scars.

8. A heart of gold.

9. A record.

10. Alcohol.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Lonesome Liz & Kara Clark's Top Ten Things an Outlaw Will Not Have

1. Money.

2. A valid driver's license.

3. Hand sanitizer, (our hands ain't clean! Don't you know we got blood on 'em?!)

4. Tampons.

5. A clean room.

6. A clean conscience.

7. A lighter.

8. A timid laugh.

9. An absence of tears.

10. A fanny pack.

Old West Outlaws: Lizzie "Hoodoo" Brown

 The Dodge City Gang

Mrs. Elizabeth "Lizzie" Hoodoo Brown, a widow living in Leadville, Colorado in the 1880s, was known for practicing the 'black arts'. In fact, it was often said that bad luck and death followed her wherever she went. Her husband, Hoodoo Brown, was a gambler like the man who ran the Dodge City Gang but it isn't certain that he was the notorious outlaw.

The pair travelled, gambling, conning and likely robbing to support themselves. During a high stakes poker game one night in Buena Vista, an argument erupted that Hoodoo and another gambler, "Curly" Frank, decided to settle with their six-shooters. Both were mortally wounded. They were, certainly unhappily, buried in the same grave.

Elizabeth returned to Leadville, where she worked as a prostitute and conjure woman. She's said to have drank heavily and to have been most unpleasant when she did.

“There was a time in the history of Leadville when Mrs. Brown was one of the reigning belles of Leadville’s Tenderloin District,” a Leadville paper reads. “Lizzie wore as fine dresses and big sparklers as any dame of the row.”

By 1885 rumors that she was in league with the Devil were rampant and she was accused of wrecking havoc with her witchcraft on more than one occasion. One
man went so far as to chop her black cat in half to break a spell. It's said that was the only time one of her spells was broken.

She lived in Leadville until her death in 1901 and was buried in an umarked grave in St. Joseph's cemetary.

For more: “Mining, Mayhem and Other Carbonate Excitements—Tales From a Silver Camp Called Leadville.” by Roger Pretti

Old West Outlaws: Hoodoo Brown

The Dodge City Gang

Hoodoo Brown was a man from Missouri named Hyman Neill who had left home on a frieght train as a teenager. He led an adventureous life and was among other things, a buffalo hunter, gambler, con-artist and conjure-man.

Following what seems to have been a mostly good time running an opera company in Mexico with a friend, he drifted to the town of Las Vegas, New Mexico. He soon ruled the place, already notorious as the most lawless in the West. By 1879, by means natural and/or supernatural but none of them honest, Hoodoo was Justice of the Peace, Mayor and Coroner of the place.

He recruited the baddest of the bad and soon commanded a formidable band of outlaws who enforced law and committed crimes as they saw fit. The group, known as the Dodge City Gang, included men with some of the most colorful names in the West like "Mysterious Dave Mather" and "Dirty Dave" Rudebaugh. Acting as Hoodoo's Coroner’s Jury, they decided which murders, including ones they committed, were homicide and which self-defense. Rudebaugh later rode with Billy the Kid and is said to have been the only man he ever feared. Other gang member, Joshua Webb, owned a saloon with Doc Holiday at one time and rode with Bat Masterson.

They were obviously and rampantly corrupt. Not only that, but at least one of them turned to the 'black arts' when the broad range of other methods at his disposal failed. Hoodoo's trickery must have been fairly successful and fairly frequent, considering his nickname.

Ultimately, the gang was run out of town. Hoodoo left for Houston but was arrested and jailed upon arrival for the robbery and killing of a Vegas deputy. The deputy's widow came to see him soon after his arrest. "The meeting between the pair is said to have been affecting in the extreme, and rather more affectionate than would be expected under the circumstances." (Parsons Sun)

Another newspaper, the Parsons Eclipse, added "The offense committed at Las Vegas, as near as we can gather the facts relating to it, was murder and robbery, and the circumstances connected with the arrest here would indicate that the lesser crime of seduction and adultery was connected with it."

Hoodoo hired two local attorneys and was released. The Chicago Times soon reported, that Brown and the widow who had visited him "have been skylarking through some of the interior towns of Kansas ever since."

Descendants say the pair had one son and moved to Torreon, Mexico. When he died, relatives brought his son and his body back to Missouri.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Window to the Wild West: The Shooting of Curly Bill, from 'The Star', May 26, 1881

Curly Bill Brocius

The Star, CURLY BILL, May 26, 1881

The Noted Desperado, Gets it in the Neck at Galeyville

The notorious Curly Bill, the man who murdered Marshal White at Tombstone last fall and who has been concerned in several other desperate and lawless affrays in South Eastern Arizona, has at last been brought to grief and there is likely to be a vacancy in the ranks of out border desperados. The affair occurred at Galeyville Thursday. A party of 8 or 9 cowboys, Curly Bill and his partner Jim Wallace among the number, were enjoying themselves in their usual manner, when deputy Sheriff Breakenridge of Tombstone, who was at Galeyville on business, happened along.

Wallace made some insulting remark to the deputy at the same time flourishing his revolver in an aggressive manner. Breakenridge did not pay much attention to this "break" of Wallace but quietly turned around and left the party. Shortly after this, Curly Bill, who it would seem had a friendly feeling for Breakenridge, insisted that Wallace should go and find him and apologize for the insult given. This Wallace was induced to do after finding Breakenridge he made the apology and the latter accompanied him back to the saloon where the cowboys were drinking.

By this time Curly Bill who had drank just enough to make him quarrelsome, was in one of his most dangerous moods and evidently desirous of increasing his record as a man killer. He commenced to abuse Wallace, who, by the way, had some pretensions himself as a desperado and bad man generally and finally said, "You d-d Lincoln county s-of a b---, I'll kill you anyhow." Wallace immediately went outside the door of the saloon, Curly Bill following close behind him. Just as the latter stepped outside, Wallace, who had meanwhile drawn his revolver, fired, the ball entering penetrating the left side of Curly Bill's neck and passing through, came out the right cheek, not breaking the jawbone. A scene of the wildest excitement ensued in the town.

The other members of the cowboy party surrounded Wallace and threats of lynching him were made. The law abiding citizens were in doubt what course to pursue. They did not wish any more blood shed but were in favor of allowing the lawless element to "have it out" among themselves. But Deputy Breakenridge decided to arrest Wallace, which he succeeded in doing without meeting any resistance. The prisoner was taken before Justice Ellinwood and after examination into the facts of the shooting he was discharged.

The wounded and apparently dying desperado was taken into an adjoining building, and a doctor summoned to dress his wounds. After examining the course of the bullet, the doctor pronounced the wound dangerous but not necessarily fatal, the chances for and against recovery being about equal. Wallace and Curly Bill have been Partners and fast friends for the past 4 or 6 months and so far is known, there was no cause for the quarrel, it being simply a drunken brawl.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Even More of Eric Hahn's Five Things

Pick Five Kama Sutra positions that don't sound all that appealing.


1. Crouching pervert, hidden camera. 

2. The Pressed for Time.

3.  The dry heave-ho.

4. You mean theres more than one? F me.

5. The Imaginary Friend.




Pick Five cut-rate superheroes.


1. Above-Average Man.

2. Try Really Hard Man.

3. The Greek hero Mediocrates, (the Romans called him Ordinarius).

4. The Moral Supporter.

5. The Participant.


1. The Incredible Bulk.

2. I'll Get Around to it Guy.

3. The One-Hit Wonder.

4. Flash in the Pan.

5. The B Team


1. The No Justice League

2. Can't Read Directions Girl

3. The Cringer

4. WomBatman

5. Lowest Common Denomenator


Pick Five ways to express your displeasure with the waitstaff.


1. Shout drink names at them no matter what they ask you.

2. Stay in your seat until all other customers have left. Tap your fork loudly on you glass at infrequent and slightly irregular intervals. While doing this, stare at one of the waiters. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

(actually done by a regular Cohen ho...use customer we called "psycho killer.")


 3. "Fire" your waiter and replace him yourself, marching into the kitchen and serving your table as well as others in his section.

4. Spell out your order o-n-e w-o-r-d a-t a t-i-m-e.

5. Go all Jackson Pollack on the tablecloth with the condiments.


Pick Five things your garbage man isn't expecting to see in your can.


1. 30 gallons of water and a squid.

2. A hole in space-time.

3. Pop up snake in a can thing, only garbage can size.

4. My neighbors. The building is really quiet now.

5. A doorway to another universe; dark and full of unimaginable horrors.


Pick five things you don't want popping out of your birthday cake.


1. Those springy fake snake things.

2. Weasels that eat my flesh.

3. A subpoena.

4. Ethel Merman.

5. Richard Simmons.


Pick five expressions nobody uses anymore.


1. Don't worry, we'll train you.

2. Let's go to Blockbuster and get that Mel Gibson movie.

3. Obama will save us!

4. You can't do that on television.

5. What's good for U.S. Steel is good for America.